probably in the way you like it best.
i never had the time or patience--
(i feared being less authentic)
my real opinions come out as afterthoughts,
one drop below what's audible to the human ear.
i could never be as serious,
i'm really not that jealous,
i'm influenced but not impressed,
calmly faking distress
(i want you to destroy me because i want to feel this
i love it when you play me for attention
(i'm being serious)
because i have a tone-deaf ego
and i simply adore tests.
you're scared of my old friends
for the same reason you don't trust former lovers:
it's easier to retrace steps
than it is to map out new paths.
i'm going to claim you in all the ways i know how.
if this scares you, tell me now.